dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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