I understand why you refuse to be sober now
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I need to calm my uterus...
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
