? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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