my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
