Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
