Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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