Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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