wrigley field is MILF paradise
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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