Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
