P.S. I can't hear my feet
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
