i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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