Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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