I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
