I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
