tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
