And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
