I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
