His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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