Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
