eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
