I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
