he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
