So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The ass gains better be worth it
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