did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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