i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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