I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
