Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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