Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
