Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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