Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
