Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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