I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
