Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just had sex bonerless
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
