maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
