Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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