my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
