guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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