i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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