Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
