OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
