super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
