i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
