I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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