I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
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