you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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