the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I want a musical about memes.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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