she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
