you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
