you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
