i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
