I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
