hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
