is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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