maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
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