I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
